What to Do?

I don't know what to do anymore.The way i feel only  hurts. I wish i could get rid of all of my feelings. I have been beaten up picked on. Kicked while i was down (literally).  Have been poked and prodded with needles. i have had seizures that have left me with back pain because of the way my back would contort. I have sprained my ankle. I nearly tore my Achilles Tendon. Ive been kicked in the groin. I have had an entertainment stand fall on top of me and have had the glass shatter on my arm. Ive fallen off my bike and into bear grass and cacti.  And yet everytime i have gritted my teeth and bared the pain,. Gotten back up from the floor and kept swinging till i was unconscious i have dragged people down to the floor with me and never given up until my bones were nearly at the point of breaking. But one of this can compare to the ache i feel inside. the longing for something that i know i will never have and yet i still fill my head with hope of possibility.  I never wanted this i never asked. I am told to just move on. I am told only time will fix this.  But it feels like a scab forms and you just sorta keep picking at.  Keep picking and eventually you will have a scar.  How so you fight something that you cant see? How do you fight something that hits 20 times harder in a place that causes the worst pain in the world? I try to talk to other people i try to move on. But when nothing happens all the feelings remain the same what is there to do? I just don't know what to do anymore.  Am i stupid for thinking there may be a future? And if there isn't can i really handle the truth of something like that? Knowing that i will only watch from afar? I have never believed in chance. But then why? Why would God have us meet? Why would God torture me with these feelings if it wasn't supposed to mean something?  What is wrong with me?