Nothing hurts more than the failure. Failure to get good grades failure please parents but the worst feeling is failure to be a friend. I am not trying to feel sorry for myself. But when you hurt someone you love and care about to teh point where they wont trust you anymore is painful.  But what i did was take a friendship that was built on "no matter whats" and turned into an "provding yo dont".I hurt somebody to the point where they cant even see the love i have for them. They only see me as somebody who hurt them. They dont understand my intentiosn were never to push them away or to throw away what we had but none of that matters anymore. But the worst part is, when you have so much love to givet to someone and they refuse it. Its like its poisoned or tainted.  And because they are hurt they wont accept it because they wont believe that someone who hurt them can really love them. No one hurts more than a person who's love is rejected.

God please. Just give me an oppurtunity to show my love for my friend. Give me an oppurtunity to gain her trust back. Give me an oppurtunity to show her how much she really means to me. You gave her to me as an extension of your ownlove and comapssion. I prayed that i needed someone to love me and someone who will comfort me and you gave me her.  Please God i didnt mean push her away.  God just let me show her.

I love you God even tho i am crying and hurting i love you and trust you. Just please make everything better.