Nightmares

it happened again, ive been having the same reoccuring nightmare fore some months now but this time it was different...

its a rainy day the weather is cold and i am upstairs on fb. the doorbell rings and my mom answers. i look down to see who it is and it is a man wearing a white navy uniform. my heart dropped and i knew exactly why he was at our house. he tells my mom to sit down and she complies. everything goes quiet except the words that come from his mouth. im sorry for your loss he says and there is a clash of thunder in the distance. he goes on talking about he served his country proudly in a pseudo sympathetic voice...well not pseudo but it was well rehearsed. his eyes meet mine and my legs nearly give out. but i cant be weak not in front of my mother i have to stay strong. time goes by and i am in my room...alone and no one to go too. the rain is coming down hard  and i am scared. i dont know what to do there was only one person i could turn too. i grab my keys and run out the door. the rain is coming down hard and i can barely see. i pull into the apartment complex and i park in any space i dont care if my car gets towed i just need someon to comfort me. i run to your door hysterical on the verge of breaking and i start knocking on it...no pounding. you open the door slowly and look me in the eyes. i tell you my brothers deadand i need someone. after a moments pause you look at me and say. michael im sorry but i cant help you with this goodbye. the dorr slams in my face and i am left all alone with no one to go too. i awoke from my dream when i took a nap and when i did i realized i was sweating and tears were in my eyes.

its only a dream...right