So I have been thinking a lot about this memorial day and it brings up certain feelings. First and foremost as a day of remembrance I would like to acknowledge my older brother. Who as of right now is in Kandaharr and lets just say the last message I got from him was well...discouraging. I feel useless, all I can do is sit and wait and hope for the best. I miss him and have no idea what I would do if I lost him.
The second person is my step-dad 27 years in the Army and two tours in Nam. Him and I didnt get along in the beginning which is disappointing because the man changed my life. However, there is one thing that weighs heavy on my heart. I always wanted to be in the Army, I wanted to make my step-dad proud. During my time in JROTC he was always asking me about how things were and everytime I wore my uniform I could always see the pride in his eyes. I was his soldier. Sadly he wasn't around long enough to see me graduate to see me as a CO in JROTC. However, when I think about it I dont know how happy he would be seeing me now. I cant even be a soldier, the one thing I spent training and getting ready for in high school and I was "unfit for service". My eyes werent good enough even though I qualified with a rifle. Now I am going to seminary which is very different than the Army. I guess I am fighting different type of war but still, whenever I went to the VA to visit him everybody knew who I was. He would sit and tell all the nurses about me, how i was gonna make him proud and fight for my country, just like him. Sadly that never happened. I miss him, and there are times when I could really use his advice. All I know is that I hope he disappointed in me.
Im sorry we wont be able to swap war stories when I see you again. I just hope you are happy with who I. I miss you Dad.
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