Sick

Lord God, my saviour,

  I have cried out to you by day and by night.

Let my prayer come before you:

  turn your ear to my request.

For my soul is full of evils,

  my life has come close to its end.

I am counted with those who go down to the pit:

  I am left without help.

I am one of the dead,

  like the murdered who sleep in their tombs,

who lie there forgotten,

  cut off from your care.

You have thrust me down into the pit,

  to the gloom and the shadow of death.

Your anger weighs heavy upon me;

  you have drowned me under your waves.

You have taken my friends away from me:

  you have made me hateful in their sight,

  I am shut in, I may not go out.

My eyes are weak from my sufferings.

I have called to you, Lord, all the day;

  I have stretched out my hands to you.

Is it for the dead that you perform your wonders?

  Will the ghosts rise up and proclaim you?

In the tomb, will they tell of your kindness?

  Will they tell of your faithfulness in the place of the lost?

Will your wonders be known in the darkness,

  or your righteousness in the land of oblivion?

And so I have called out to you, Lord,

  and in the morning my prayer will come before you.

With what purpose, Lord, do you reject my soul?

  Why do you hide your face from me?

I am poor; from my youth I have been dying;

  I have borne the terrors you sent, I am lost in confusion.

Your anger has overrun me, your terrors have broken me:

  they have flowed round me like water,

  they have besieged me all the day long.

You have taken my friends and those close to me:

  all I have left is shadows.

 

Idk what to do all I know is this is how I feel. Alone and abandoned.

 

Lord forgive me for my selfishiness. Forgive me for my deisres, For give me for the damage I've caused, Forgive me for turning from you. Forgive me for running away like your disciples, forgive me for my lack of faith, forgive me for the agony you felt in the garden, forgive me for betraying you and my friends.  Forgive me for the pain I've caused others. Lord lease ave mercy on me for I am a sinner. I betrayed you, I beat you, I whipped you, I mocked and spat on you, I crowned you with thorns. I nailed you on the cross and left you to die. Please forgive me. 

 

Lost, everything is lost
And everything I've loved before is gone
Alone like the coming of the frost
And a cold winter's chill in my stony heart

And where were You when all that I've hoped for?
Where You when all that I've dreamed
Came crashing down in shambles around me?

Pain, could you take away the pain?
If I find someone to blame, would it make my life seem easier?
Alone, all my friends are asleep
And I can't find anyone to stay awake with me

Where were You when sin stole my innocence?
Where were You when I was ashamed?
Hiding in a life, I wish, I never made
you were on the Cross....

 

Im sorry.