So i messed up. Not that its a big surprise i mean don't i always? But i can help to ask myself is this a curve-ball from God? Or is this just another one of those consequences for my actions? I mean obviously i made a mistake and lost the trust of people i care about along with my job. Could things have gone better? Sure things could always go better. Am i sorry for what i did? You bet your ass i am? But its like my step-dad always told me "Mikey sorry doesn't mean shit. Its already done and you cant change it." I got too comfortable and it cost me. But i cant help but to ask myself is there a reason for this? Am i where God wants me right now? Or is this just the usual Michael fuck up. Personally i lean towards the second option but we always judge ourselves harsher than what we actually deserve It would have been nice to have sat and talked about everything before this happened but you did what you felt was right. I don't deserve forgiveness or your kindness. I messed up and that's that.
however, cant help but to ask. What now? I thought this job was a real chance to live out my faith. to do what i tell the teens to do and help people, but apparently i cant even help others so i guess i should practice what i preach. Somebody told me that God has something better planned for me? But what could possibly be better? And even if there is something better, I don't deserve it. Is this a curve-ball or is this something that was coming head on and i didn't bother to get out of the way?
Michael, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I know that what you're going through really sucks and I wish that there was some way that I could help! But know that God has you in His hands and try to find peace in that-which isn't easy, but try. I am praying for you always.
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Michael, I know this isn't easy for you. I did have my reasons for not sitting down and talking to you first. It was a very difficult decision. I'm more than willing to let you know what those reasons were when you're ready. This all is an unfortunate situation. I truly believe you are a good person. We don't hate you. We're disappointed, yes, but life is too short to hold grudges. We're not grudge people anyway. Please take from this experience the lesson that is needed. Take care.
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