What's Left?

i have nothing left. i have a certification and a diploma thats all. i cant believe where i am at. i wanted one thing, one single god damn thing and because i am me i lost it. because i am a fuck up i lost it. everything just seems so pointless and mundane i just want to make things right. i just want to fix things, i dont want to lose the only good thing i had. there is a word that just keeps bouncing around in my head and no matter how hard i try i cant escape it. its the same word that has followed me my entire life and now will probably haunt me till the day i die.