Calling It Quits

This is it, I am done I give up its over. I am tired of being the bad guy. I am tired of caring all it has done is put me in a bad situation.  I thought caring is what people are supposed to do but i guess not. All it does is piss people off make me look like a jackass. So i am done. I am sick and tired of people, i have come to the realization that the only "people" i am good with are the little people. Probably because they are to young to hate me. But its kinda funny.

Today was going well until a couple of hours ago and then everything went to hell in a hand basket. But i had to push it all aside because i had to babysit. I had just changed the child and put him in his PJ's and brought him downstairs for some milk and Goldfish (the snack that smiles back) . I had set him on the ground and he ate his Goldfish and sat on the floor while i read him a story.  After that i went to go grab his milk out of the fridge when when i noticed he wasn't on the floor. When i looked for him i found him attempting to crawl up the stairs but he had stopped just after the second step and he started crying. He was so tired he just couldn't do it anymore. So i picked him up and took him to his room where i started to rock him in his rocking chair.  He wrapped his arms around my neck and slowly drifted off to sleep.  But for that moment while he was in my nestled in my arms and asleep I noticed something. I was happy. I was at peace for that moment i didn't care about anything else in the world except this little guy i was holding.  All i knew is that he wanted somebody to love and hold him so i happily obliged him and then finally put him down in his crib.  If only God would give me more moments like that in my life, life would be so much nicer. 

At this point i don't think i have anybody else who reads my blog but i could be wrong. truth is i don't care anymore. I cant make people happy no matter how much i try.  I feel like my time has been wasted like i have been lied to and talked about and severely misunderstood. But you know what i think its like i said in my last blog. I think its time for a Change.  It may seem drastic but  hopefully it will put an end to all this nonesense.