Breaking Point

i cant take it anymore. i am so sick and tired of being where i am. i am tired of the pain, i am tired of hardly having the strength to do things that nobody else has a problem with. i am tired of every breath just bringing more pain, or the fact that i something like taking a shower is such hard work and takes so much energy. when i got home from work on  sunday at two thirty i didnt wake up till nine o clock the next morning. i barely survived the ben folds concert that night i almost asked for the car keys so i could just lay down in the back seat till it was over but i somehow managed. i cant take the emotional pain either idk if its because of my illness or because im still very much in love with her but i cant stop myself from crying. and the worst part of it all  is this overwhelming sense of loneliness that i feel, because the one person who loved me and actually cared no longer wants anything to do with me. not to mention the medication i am on to reduce my ticks hasnt helped at all. i swear i have seen women in labor who are more cool headed than i am now. i just want it all to end, i want my friends back and i want my health bac. im reaching my breaking point idk how much longer i can last.