Still Alive

first off kudos if you know where i got the title from. now on a more serious note. seriously how am i still alive. three years and it hasnt gotten better only worse. i can feel it coursing through my body. how are my tendons and muscles still connected. how is my neck has gone stiff or my jaw break. it hurts but there isnt anything i can do just endure. but how much more can i take.