A year in Retrospect

So this past year has been somewhat of an adventure.Things have happened that i never thought in a million years would be possible. First of all, I became Catholic probably the biggest and most important decision i have ever made in my life. The struggles that have come with this new sense of faith and purpose has been ridiculous and there are plenty more to come.

I fell in love. Of course i don't really know if i am surprised that happened. I have always been a bit of a romantic at heart. However the person i fell for is in a relationship and is going to marry the man that she is with. Although it may seem like a bad ending to a fairytale there is always a lesson to be learned. It is hard to accept things that you have no control over. However i feel that through this fairytale of an idea that i have God has taught me to accept things how they are and be happy.

Trust was another lesson that has been taught to me. I have always had trust issues and i still do. I don't like talking to people about my problems and i hate being a burden for somebody. but again God in his infinite wisdom knows this and through the help of my friends has taught me it is ok to be open.

Another important change that happened this year came from a little 2 year old friend of mine. And although he may not know he taught me that no matter what we should always love unconditionally and everybody loves a good hug.

I think the next thing i learned is one of the most important. This is something you taught me (and you know who you are). You taught me its ok to be vulnerable, that crying doesn't make me any less of a man. I know things have been rough between s and i know its going to be along time before things are ok again, I just hope that it isn't too long. But you gave me something i had never really had before and that was a shoulder to cry on and in that you taught me what it meant to be a tender loving person even to those people who are stupid, stubborn, jackasses at times.

Change is everywhere, it is all around us and we have to be open to that change otherwise we wont survive. I have always been a creature of habit all the way down to where i sit in the classroom. However my new years resolution is to be open to the change that happens in my life and to accept things that are out of my control.

And lastly before i left for California, somebody very close to me gave me the best gift i had ever received. We had always been close but the song you gave me meant more to me than anything i have ever gotten. If you couldve seen the tears that started to well up in my eyes or feel the lump that formed in my throat you'd no this. But through that song you told me that your were proud of me, and that even though you aren't physically here at the moment you'll always be by my side. You told me that i meant something to you and that is the best gift anybody has ever given me. I love you and I hope you come home safely, because if something were to happen i don't think i could wait a lifetime to see you again.

There are many more years to come and i hope throughout the years i become a stronger and more faithful person i hope you had a happy new years and are ready for whatever else the world has to throw at you. And if you feel like things are going downhill just remember the one thing that will hold us all together is love.