Little Blessings, Big Changes.

"If everyone were perfect, there'd be no need to look out for others. Sympathy and love is needed because people are imperfect. A perfect human cannot love anyone."

It is my belief that it is through our imperfections that we are able to learn and grow as human beings and as Christians. There is nobody who is perfect, but that does not mean it is ok for people to continually make the same mistakes. For if we do not correct our mistakes there would be know growth physically, mentally or spiritually. For those who are going to continue on reading I ask that you please do not pass judgement or say anything negative. If what I write upsets you I am sorry. I am sorry if I have disappointed you in any way or have caused you to think less of me as a person. Also if you feel the need to lecture I would kindly ask you to please refrain from doing so. I understand and appreciate your concern and know that you would only do so because you care or are concerned. However, throughout the past few months I have heard and received plenty of chastisement and would appreciate it if you kept any negative comments to yourself, to all of my close friends and family who already know I would like to thank you for the love and support you have shown.

A few months ago I was given the scariest, most exciting and life changing news I will probably ever receive. I am going to be a father, and I could not be more excited and happy.

I LOVE my child more than anything and I cannot thank God enough for allowing me to take part in the greatest miracle of all. While the years to come are going to be difficult (to say the least0 I know that this child is being born into this world at this time for a reason and if you cannot share in the celebration that is the creation of a new life then I am truly sorry for you. Whether it is planned or not new life is never something that should be treated like an inconvenience or a problem.

To my friends and family again I cannot thank you enough for the love and support you have shown. And to those who think less of me and are disappointed in me, I thank you as well for I am aware of where your feelings come from. It is my hope and prayer that you may be able to look past the disappointment and negativity so that we can all celebrate in the joyous occasion that is the creation of life.

February 28th 2013

sometimes i look in the mirror and i ask myself am i fit to do what god has charged me with/ i feel like i fail at so many things being a good bf, being a good son, being a good catholic, hell just being a good person. i wanna be good, but i feel like idk how to do that. i once thought that i could be a hero but i feel more like the villain. i want my child to look up to me, i want to be the father that i never had, but how do i do that when the mother of my child is always hurt because of something i did or failed to do and the only friend i had well is less than friendly with me. i just feel like i suck. not because i am feeling sorry for myself but because everybody around me who was close to me dislikes me. i have never really cared about how others feel about me. so why now/. why is it that i want a friend/ right now this particular evening the mother of my child is driving away and is pretty upset. but do i or can i make her feel better/ no i cant. i dont want to be the bad guy anymore.